An important component communicative communication is ability to ask questions.

Questions are a way to obtain information and at the same time a way to switch the thoughts of the person with whom you are talking in the right direction (whoever asks questions controls the conversation).

With the help of questions, we build a bridge for ourselves into the unknown and uncertain. And since uncertainty and the unknown are a characteristic feature of the modern, rapidly changing world, developing the ability to ask questions is very relevant.

“Sorry for the misunderstanding, I didn’t understand you correctly” is a phrase that can often be heard in conversations between people. So, so that you don’t have to say it, learn to ask questions correctly. A correctly posed question, allowing you to find out your partner’s intentions, helps to avoid misunderstandings and conflicts. After all, sometimes, neglecting the opportunity to ask a question, or not asking it at the right time, we open the way to guesses and conjectures, various speculative constructions, create the wrong impression about others, attributing to them non-existent qualities, advantages and disadvantages, which often leads to misunderstandings and conflicts .

No matter who you are, a leader or an ordinary manager, a coach or a psychologist, in any area of ​​​​life you will need the ability to ask questions correctly. In any conversation, both business and personal, the right questions help:

• Show interest in the personality of the partner and interlocutor;
• Ensure “mutuality,” that is, make your value system understandable to your interlocutor, while simultaneously clarifying his system;
• Receive information, express doubts, show your own position, show trust, be interested in what is being said, show condescension and show that you are ready to devote the necessary time to the conversation;
• Seize and maintain the initiative in communication;
• Change the conversation to another topic;
• Move from the interlocutor’s monologue to dialogue with him.

To learn how to ask questions correctly, you need to pay attention to the correct construction of internal dialogue and study the main types of questions in external dialogue.

INTERNAL DIALOGUE(questions to yourself) organizes our own thinking and helps us formulate thoughts. The relevance and quality, precision and consistency of the questions that arise in our minds greatly influence the effectiveness of most of the actions we take.

In order to organize an internal dialogue, you need to understand that its purpose is to analyze any of the problems. A set of relevant questions will help to comprehensively analyze any problem (situation). There are two options for questions.

The first option is seven classic questions:

What? Where? When? Who? How? Why? By what means?

These seven questions allow you to cover the entire problem situation and perform its verbal and logical analysis.

The second option for analyzing the situation is a set of six questions:

• Facts - What facts and events are relevant to the situation in question?
• Feelings - How do I generally feel about this situation? How do others supposedly feel?
• Desires - What do I really want? What do others want?
• Obstacles - What is stopping me? What is stopping others?
• Time - What should be done and when?
• Tools - What tools do I have to solve this problem? What means do others have?

Use any of the two options when organizing an internal dialogue. When a problem arises, analyze the situation by asking yourself questions, bring your thoughts to clarity, and only then begin to act.

Importance and significance EXTERNAL DIALOGUE, is asking the right questions, which are much better than a monotonous monologue. After all, the one who asks is the leader in the conversation. Also, with the help of questions, we show the interlocutor our interest in the conversation and in deepening it. By asking, we express to the person our desire to establish a good relationship with him. But all this happens when the conversation does not resemble or look like an interrogation.

Therefore, before you start a conversation or business conversation, prepare a series of questions for your interlocutor, and ask them as soon as you move on to the business part of the conversation (in a normal conversation, as soon as you touch on the topic you need). This will give you a psychological advantage.

Questions of external dialogue can be posed in specific forms and are of the following types:

Closed questions. The purpose of closed questions is to obtain an unambiguous answer (the agreement or refusal of the interlocutor), “yes” or “no”. Such questions are good only when it is necessary to clearly and clearly determine the presence of something in the present, past, and sometimes in the future (“Are you using this?”, “Have you used this?”, “Do you want to try?”), or attitude towards something (“Did you like it?”, “Are you satisfied with this?”) in order to understand how to proceed. Closed questions (and yes or no answers) shift our efforts in a specific direction.

You should not immediately push a person by asking such questions to make a final decision. Remember that it is easier to convince than to convince.

It's another matter when you deliberately ask a closed question, which is difficult to answer with a negative. For example, referring to generally accepted values ​​(Socrates often used a similar method): “Do you agree, life does not stand still?”, “Tell me, is quality and guarantees important to you?” Why is this done: the more often a person agrees with us, the wider the zone of mutual understanding (this is one of ways of manipulation). And vice versa, if you can’t pick up correct question, and often hear “no” in response to leading questions, the likelihood of your proposal being rejected as a whole increases. Therefore, achieve agreement on small things, do not start the conversation with contradictions, then it will be easier to achieve the desired result.

Open questions. They do not imply a definite answer, make a person think, and better reveal his attitude to your proposal. Open questions are a good way to obtain new, detailed information that is very difficult to obtain using closed questions. Consequently, in conversation it is necessary to use open questions more often, in their various variations.

Ask for facts that will help you understand the situation: “What is available?”, “How much?”, “How is it decided?”, “Who?” etc.

Find out the interests of your interlocutor and the conditions for satisfying them.

Find out your interlocutor’s attitude to the situation under discussion: “What do you think about this?”, “How do you feel about this?”

Suggest, in the form of questions, another (your) solution to the problem: “Can we do it this way..?”, “Why don’t we pay attention to such and such an option..?”, while arguing your proposal. This is much better than openly saying: “I propose...”, “Let’s do it better this way...”, “I think...”.

Be interested in what your interlocutor’s statement is based on: “Where are you coming from?”, “Why exactly?”, “What is the reason for this?”

Clarify everything that is unclear to you: “What (how) exactly?”, “What exactly..?”, “Because of what?”.

Find out unaccounted for points, both personal and business: “What did we forget?”, “What issue did we not discuss?”, “What was missed?”,

If there are doubts, clarify their reasons: “What’s stopping you?”, “What worries you (doesn’t suit you)?”, “What is the reason for the doubts?”, “Why is this unrealistic?”

Characteristics of open questions:

• Activation of the interlocutor, such questions force him to think about the answers and express them;
• The partner, at his own discretion, chooses what information and arguments to present to us;
• With an open question, we bring the interlocutor out of a state of restraint and isolation and eliminate possible barriers to communication;
• The partner becomes a source of information, ideas and suggestions.

Since, when answering open questions, the interlocutor has the opportunity to avoid a specific answer, divert the conversation aside, or share only information that is beneficial to him, it is recommended to ask basic and secondary, clarifying and leading questions.

Main questions– are planned in advance, can be either open or closed.

Secondary or follow-up questions- spontaneous or planned, they are asked to clarify already stated answers to basic questions.

Clarifying questions require short and concise answers. They are asked in case of doubt in order to clarify the nuances. People are almost always willing to delve into the details and nuances of their affairs, so there is no problem here. Unless we ourselves often neglect to ask clarifying questions, while our interlocutors are just waiting for this from us in order to make sure that we have understood everything correctly. Don't be shy and don't forget to ask clarifying questions!

Suggestive questions These are questions whose content makes a certain answer obvious, i.e. are formulated in such a way as to tell a person what he should say. It is recommended to ask leading questions when you are dealing with timid and indecisive people, to summarize the conversation, or if the interlocutor has started talking and you need to return the conversation to the right (business) direction, or if you need to confirm the correctness of your judgment (belief in the profitability of your proposal) .

Leading questions sound extremely intrusive. They almost force the interlocutor to admit the correctness of your judgments and agree with you. Therefore, they must be used extremely carefully.

In order to know how to ask questions correctly, you need to have an idea of ​​all kinds of these issues. Using questions of all types in business and personal conversations allows you to achieve various goals. Let's look at the main types of questions:

Rhetorical questions are asked in order to evoke the desired reaction in people (to gain support, focus attention, point out unresolved problems) and do not require a direct answer. Such questions also enhance the character and feelings in the speaker’s sentence, making the text richer and more emotional. Example: “When will people finally learn to understand each other?”, “Can what happened be considered a normal phenomenon?”

Rhetorical questions must be formulated in such a way that they sound short and concise, relevant and understandable. Silence in response serves as approval and understanding here.

Provocative questions are asked with the aim of causing a storm of emotions in the interlocutor (opponent), so that the person, in a fit of passion, reveals hidden information or blurts out something unnecessary. Provocative questions are pure manipulative influence, but sometimes it is also necessary for the benefit of the matter. Just don’t forget, before asking such a question, to calculate all the risks associated with it. After all, by asking provocative questions you are to some extent challenging.

Confusing questions transfer attention to the area of ​​interest of the questioner, which lies aside from the main direction of the conversation. Such questions are asked either unintentionally (if you are interested in the topic of conversation, you should not ask about things that have nothing to do with it) or deliberately out of a desire to solve some of your own problems, to direct the conversation in the direction you need. If, in response to your confusing question, the interlocutor asks you not to be distracted from the topic under discussion, do so, but note that you want to consider and discuss the topic you stated at another time.

Also, confusing questions are asked with the aim of simply avoiding the topic of conversation, either because it is not interesting (if you value communication with this person, you should not do this), or it is inconvenient.

Relay questions- are aimed at being proactive and require the ability to grasp your partner’s cues on the fly and provoke him to further reveal his position. For example: “Do you mean by this that...”.

Questions to demonstrate your knowledge. Their goal is to show off their own erudition and competence in front of other participants in the conversation, and to earn the respect of their partner. This is a kind of self-affirmation. When asking such questions, you need to be truly, and not superficially, competent. Because you yourself may be asked to give a detailed answer to your own question.

Mirror question contains part of a statement spoken by the interlocutor. It is asked that a person see his statement from the other side, this helps to optimize the dialogue, give it genuine meaning and openness. For example, to the phrase “ Never assign this to me again!", the question follows - " Shouldn't I instruct you? Is there anyone else who could handle this just as well?»

The question “Why?”, applied in this case, would cause a defensive reaction, in the form of excuses, justifications and the search for imaginary reasons, and could even end in accusations and lead to conflict. The mirror question gives a much better result.

Alternative question is asked in the form of an open question, but contains several answer options. For example: “Why did you choose the profession of an engineer: deliberately, followed in the footsteps of your parents, or decided to enroll for a campaign, together with a friend, or maybe you yourself don’t know why?” Alternative questions are asked to activate the taciturn interlocutor.

A question that fills the silence. good the right question You can fill an awkward pause that sometimes arises in a conversation.

Calming Questions have a noticeable calming effect in difficult situations. You should be familiar with them if you have small children. If they are upset about something, you can distract them and calm them down by asking a few questions. This technique works immediately, because you have to answer questions, thereby being distracted. You can calm an adult in the same way.

Requires compliance with the following rules:

Brevity is the soul of wit. The question should be short, precise and clear. This increases the likelihood of a response to it. When you start complex, lengthy arguments, go far from the topic, you may even forget what exactly you wanted to ask about. And your interlocutor, while you are posing your question for five minutes, is wondering what exactly you want to ask him about. And it may happen that the question remains unheard or misunderstood. If you really want to come from afar, let the explanation (backstory) be heard first, and then a clear and short question.

So that after your questions your interlocutor does not have the feeling that he is under interrogation, soften them in intonation. The tone of your question should not show that you are demanding an answer (of course, unless this is a situation where you have no other choice), it should sound in a relaxed manner. Sometimes it will be right to ask the person you are talking to, ask permission - “Can I ask you a few questions to clarify?”

The ability to ask questions is inextricably linked with the ability to listen to your interlocutor. People are very responsive to those who listen to them carefully. And they will treat your question with the same degree of care. It is also important not only to show your culture and interest, but also not to miss information that may serve as a reason for clarifying questions or for adjusting what has already been prepared.

Most people, for various reasons, are not ready to answer direct questions (some have difficulty in presenting, others are afraid to convey incorrect information, some do not know the subject well enough, others are limited by personal or corporate ethics, the reason may be reticence or shyness, etc. . P.). In order for a person to give you an answer no matter what, you need to interest him, explain to him that answering your questions is in his interests.

You shouldn’t ask a question that starts with the words: “How could you...?” or “Why don’t you...?” Correct question This is a request for information, but not as a hidden accusation. When the situation requires you to express dissatisfaction with your partner’s actions, it is better to firmly but tactfully tell him about it in an affirmative form, rather than in the form of a question.

So, having learned how to ask questions correctly, you can get the (professional) information you need from your interlocutor, understand and get to know him better, find out his position and motives for his actions, make your relationship with him more sincere and trusting (friendly), encourage further cooperation, and also discover weaknesses and give he has the opportunity to figure out what he is wrong about. It’s clear why psychologists often talk about art rather than ability to ask questions.

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Questions "Why?" have two main meanings: the meaning “If possible, please clarify for me” and the meaning “I express dissatisfaction and demand.”

Like, “What kind of stupidity is this?” or “What the hell and how long will this continue?”

The first form, where you ask for clarification, can be called “Smart Why”, the second, where the question is a dissatisfaction, demand or objection - “Dissatisfied Why”. Smart Why makes you smarter and earns you respect (at least understanding), Dissatisfied Why creates tension and conflicts.

To avoid misunderstandings, be careful with the questions “Why?” If possible, avoid the short form “Why?”, clarify your question

Perhaps you do not really understand the other person and ask “Why?” to better understand his vision and motives. But a short, no explanation “Why?” very similar to Dissatisfied Why, can easily be understood by the interlocutor as Dissatisfied Why, the interlocutor begins to tense up, make excuses or attack you. This happens especially often in correspondence, when the interlocutor does not see your (sweet and friendly) facial expression... To prevent this from happening, avoid short “Why?”, Explain your question in more detail. For example, “Why did you decide to stop at this decision? What advantages do you see? what are the disadvantages? Your vision is very important to me."

If you are dissatisfied with something and do not understand why the person did this, try instead of Dissatisfied Why to make (once again) a request or clear instructions (demands). You come home from work and see things scattered, although in the morning you asked your son to clean everything up. Instead of arguing “Why?” It’s easier and smarter to ask again and for him to start doing it in front of you. And then, when everything is cleaned up, you can talk about the reasons. Although, most likely, the conversation will no longer be relevant.

“Why didn’t you clean your room?” “Why are you teasing your little sister?” “Why are you stuck in front of the TV again?” “Why did you bite the boy?” And the general: “Why don’t you listen to me?” "Why don't you ever do what I tell you?"

All these questions are rhetorical, do not imply an answer, and are often supplemented by critical remarks such as: “You have already frayed all my nerves!” and “This is simply unbearable!”

The question “Why are you doing this?” sometimes replaced by “What should I do with you?” Think about it: even a professional psychologist would find it difficult to answer both of these questions. Think about it: your questions make no more sense than your child’s stupid behavior.

It is quite clear that the child will not want to answer such questions, and will not be able to answer them, even if he wanted to.

At best, you will hear the answer as a thoughtless “Because”, or a dull “I don’t know”, or a cheeky “Because I want it so”, and more often than not, children ignore your questions. At the same time, it is very possible that the child will comment on your question as “Stupid mom,” and this is not at all what he will “think about.”

As a rule, these why-questions are the erroneous behavior of parents and express our helplessness (with the defense “Well, how many times have I told him!”) and our anger (the desire for revenge).

Instead of Dissatisfied Why, make requests or clear instructions (demands). “Why are you stuck in front of the TV again?” replace with: “Turn off the TV (wait until done). What's on your plan now? Lessons or a walk?

If you want to understand the meaning of actions, ask not “Why”, but “For what, why, for what purpose”. The “Why” question often looks back and includes justifications. The question “Why” is more constructive and helps to look into the future. It teaches people to think (at least, people think a lot when they are looking for answers to this question), analyze their actions, and stimulate awareness.

Because people are immersed in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, they rarely have the opportunity to stop for a while and think about why we live. In general, is it necessary to do this? Is it better to go with the flow without thinking about anything? It's much easier this way. But answering the question “why live?” It becomes much easier for a person to find the guidelines along which to move. Is it possible to understand why a person lives? Many have been searching for this answer for years.

Why does it appear in our head? Who even needs to know why we live? After all, there seem to be no physiological prerequisites for the appearance of such thoughts. We live there and that's it. But no, the obsessive “why am I living” keeps popping into my head every now and then.

Since these thoughts visit almost every person, then dismissing them would be, at a minimum, irresponsible. For some, they become a problem, leading to, and sometimes even suicide. This means that it is vital for these people to find out, otherwise they simply will not want to do it further. But such cases, fortunately, are not so common, but bad moods or despondency visit people all the time.

Therefore, the answer to the question “why do I live” can saturate every day with the missing colors and solve a number of other problems, including:

• Be the master of your life;
• Become happier and more cheerful;
• Understand what you want, direct your efforts in the right direction;
• Begin ;
• Stay young and energetic longer.

Perhaps the list is not complete, but even for the sake of these points it is worth thinking about the question “why live.”

It all depends on the specific situation, as well as the person. Sometimes it seems that someone finds the meaning of their existence from birth. For example, he becomes a hereditary doctor, builds a brilliant career, undergoes an internship abroad and everything is fine with him. But at one “wonderful” moment he breaks all social ties, goes somewhere to the mountains, becoming a hermit.

Can we hope for his return to life? Or should this step be regarded as a real return to one’s natural self? In any case, the answer to the question “why live?” was not obvious to him in all previous years.

Still, why do people live? Some – for themselves “beloved”, some – for others. Others choose serving a higher goal as the meaning of their existence, but the majority of people cannot answer the question “why live.” Is it so important if everything is already good? Probably, in this case, it’s not extremely important. It all depends on the emotional state of the person.

If everything suits him, he enjoys every day, and doesn’t bother himself too much, then looking for an answer to the question “why live” is not critical for him. Perhaps at the end of his life he will begin to introspect, but, most likely, even then this will not bother him much.

Since this condition can occur at any time, it is important to understand the reasons for its occurrence.

• Inconsistency with reality;
• Lack of positive ones;
• Problems in your personal life or at work;
• Non-perception of a person by society;
• The opinions of other people, their advice, reproaches, instructions.

Let's look at these cases separately.

1. Why live if reality is not pleasing?

A common cause of depression is when “I want” and “I can” are noticeably different. For example, a girl was taught from childhood that she was a princess. Accordingly, she shouldn’t exchange less than for a prince with a white Porsche, but, for some reason, in their village there is no better transport than the neighbor’s LADA “Kalina”. Instead of the prince, the local swineherd Vasily. It is clear that the universal question “why am I living” will settle in her head.

What to do in such a situation? There are two options: either I “want” to bring it down to the level of my “I can”, or expand my capabilities. For example, sell your father’s tractor and go with modest belongings to conquer the capital or regional center. Otherwise, depression will not go away, but will only progress.

2. Why live if there is no joy?

Positive emotions are largely due to complex biochemical processes occurring in our body. “Happiness” hormones are produced when certain stimuli appear. For example, a loved one, a promotion at work or a ticket to a long-awaited resort. The essence of the reason is not so important, the main thing is the response of our body to it.

But in order for hormones to be synthesized, substances are needed from which they will be created. Vitamins, microelements, proteins, fats, carbohydrates, etc. So, returning to life will directly depend on. Chocolate, bananas, nuts, fruits, greens will help you get moving so that you can begin your daily routine with renewed vigor.

3. Why live if there are problems in love or at work?

Probably the most common reason for sad thoughts is related to personal or professional failures. In this case, advice suggesting letting go of the situation would be appropriate. Yours will return, and if it doesn’t return, then it wasn’t yours. This is equally true in relation to the chosen one, as well as a career promotion, a new customer, etc. The more we chase something, the more it runs away from us. Why does a person live if he is abandoned or fired? Because this is just one of the episodes of his life, after which new ones will come, perhaps even better ones.

4. Why live if they don’t understand you?

The world is so diverse that everyone can find a place in it, regardless of their education, inclinations, preferences and skills. Here it is better to pose the question differently. Why does a person live with those who do not accept him? If someone is not appreciated at work, a girl regularly nags, and friends are trying to assert themselves at his expense, why are they all needed?

You can get a new job, find another company, wait for the next “arrow of Cupid”. As a last resort, you can go to another city or country. The world is limitless and full of possibilities. Why live where you are not comfortable? The main thing is to understand from whom a person is running, from others or himself?

5. Why live in a way that others don’t like?

Since childhood, we are surrounded by other people. Each of them has their own opinion and understanding of life. It is worth learning a simple truth - no one owes anything to anyone. We shouldn't adapt to others. Even if someone was born into a family of hereditary military men, he is not obliged to join the army if his soul does not lie in it. And, even more so, to graduate from a military academy, etc. Otherwise, after 10 or 20 years, the thoughts “why live?” may appear in his head, but it will be difficult to correct the situation.

Since childhood, we have been taught to answer questions asked to us; if you are asked a question, you must answer it; you cannot ignore a person, this is, at the very least, ignorant. And over time, this becomes a responsibility; without realizing it, we answer all the questions that are asked to us, even if some of them seriously stress us out. Lucky are those people who were taught the opposite from childhood, I know such people, and I’ll tell you, they don’t worry about life at all, because they understand that they don’t owe anything to anyone. I myself once changed my attitude towards this, and now I suggest you do this if you suffer from a similar illness. Well, many people probably understand that the questions asked should not always be answered truthfully, but to this we must also add complete ignorance of them. Having asked you a question, a person is counting on your reaction first of all; he understandably wants you to tell him the truth, which will give him a certain strength, and accordingly make you weaker. But even if you lie or otherwise lead him by the nose, this will still be the answer to the question. If you are nervous or too impulsive, then the question was ideal from the point of view of the one asking.

Pay attention to journalists who literally freeze out their victims with specially selected questions, and therefore they are often ignored without answering them at all. The fact is that journalists have their own peculiarity: they are professionals in asking the right questions, only the right ones for themselves, and not for the person to whom they ask them. These questions can be so unnatural that they only look like questions, but in fact they are definite statements. And any people can ask you such questions, consciously or not, it doesn’t matter, the important thing is that they are trying to either reveal you, or check you, or give you some kind of role, the role of a defendant or a culprit. If you were asked a question like: “Do you want to teach people to behave aggressively towards others?” - this is not a question, unless, of course, before that you were asked about “what do you teach people and why do you do it?” If you yourself have not brought up such a question, where there is already a definite statement, this is not a question, this is a provocation. The ideal option is to laugh it off, simply ignore it, or mutter something unintelligible, like I didn’t understand the question. Even when answering this question with a question, you are playing along with the person who is asking you. Indeed, in this case, you show that you are ready to accept his question and consider it normal, while this is not the case, and such a question does not deserve your attention, and the person asking it to you is definitely aggressive towards you.

So it is not at all necessary to answer all the questions put to you; after all, even in court a person has the right to refrain from answering a question. Of course, you will be provoked and forced in every possible way to respond to the questions asked, but you should not succumb to provocation from others, because they need it, and they should be nervous about your calmness and equanimity, which is actually what is happening. The main thing is not to abuse this, you should not turn into a silent and completely detached person, you just have to make it clear to others that you only answer what you want to answer and what is really appropriate. People want to extract information from you and use it in certain ways, but it's too big a service for them to provide often and to everyone. You can, of course, manipulate people through your answers to their questions, but I will teach you this skill some other time. This question is quite delicate, because manipulation can be positive and useful for the one who manipulates and the one being manipulated. But when people manipulate each other for evil reasons, this is already bad - this is the decomposition of society. So you understand, some things should be taught wisely and not for everyone. Therefore, for now, train yourself to have a passive attitude towards others and them, sometimes asking absolutely stupid questions. Even if they don’t show aggression towards you, but are simply interested in something from you, don’t tense up, calmly say that you don’t know what you don’t want to answer, or say that what they’re asking you about doesn’t interest you at all.

Everything, of course, depends on the question posed, but you need to understand the main thing, you are not obligated to answer it, and all you need to do is just nicely avoid answering. Don’t let people break into your reality with their questions, remain a mystery to them, the more unknown you are, the more you attract others to you. If the situation leads to the fact that you still need to answer the question posed, do it the way politicians do it. Professional psychologists work with them, bringing their level of communication with people and journalists to perfection. And therefore they often answer too generally, vaguely, not to what they were asked, and the like. I have already written that if for some reason you do not like the question asked to you, if it is not convenient for you, then answer the part of it that suits you more or, in general, the question that you would like, as then linking it with what was delivered. However, this article talks about something else, about ignoring the questions of others, and therefore, first of all, understand this. One of the main rules when ignoring questions is to be as calm as possible on your part; you may be surprised, grin, or be perplexed, the main thing is not to be indignant or nervous. After all, when you are nervous, people see your success, even if you do not say anything in response, it is enough that you heard and perceived them at all. And therefore they will pester you until they completely break you and you lose your temper and enter into a discussion.

But absolute calm already strains those who want to hear something from you in response, ridicule, of course, is your reaction, but if the interlocutor is not confident in himself, this will make him even more insecure, because in this case he will think that this he said something wrong. The same applies to your thoughtfulness and bewilderment, just pretend that the person asking you the question is an idiot, I think he will quickly agree with this. And of course, you may not hear the questions; your hearing may not be subtle enough, or selective enough, depending on the situation. This is what your policy should be in relation to people asking you questions; such a position meets primarily your interests, and not what we are taught at school, trying to fit us as much as possible into the interests of society. If possible, ask questions yourself, let people justify themselves, but never justify yourself, I repeat once again, you don’t owe anyone anything in this life.

Questions... Why ask them? First, if a person asks something, it means he doesn’t know it. Second, perhaps he needs to know someone's specific opinion. Third, many questions do not have a clear answer. Fourth, everything, even the most mundane, can be looked at differently.

Like in the problem about pears: how much will it be if you add two more to two pears? It’s just... And if the first two pears weigh half a kilogram, then four weigh a kilogram? Is not a fact. In nature, you won’t find exactly the same pears.

So it is in everything. The world around us invariably reveals new, unfamiliar facets. You just need to be able to notice it. And you can simplify this by being curious about others and yourself, because the ways of thinking of different people are unique. And then you can see familiar things from a completely unfamiliar side.

Why are questions important?

State psychologists have calculated how many questions a five-year-old child asks per day. The average was more than sixty. And some can give birth to a question per minute. But when faced with an irritated or indifferent reaction from adults, they very quickly stop asking questions, and accordingly, they stop developing. In the education system, it is also common not to encourage dissidents, but to provide convenient frameworks and an obedient class, which is given general information that is the same for everyone, without awkward questions.

As for adults, it's a different story. For the vast majority, it is typical not only to stop learning, but also to ossify in their knowledge and opinions. And finally. And then a person always has answers to all questions, can teach others how to live, determine who is right and who is wrong. In fact, this worldview does not bring much happiness, money or prosperity.

But the easiest way for development and self-development is the questions that a person asks. “What do I want in this life?”, “How can I achieve this?” - very simple questions. And, nevertheless, they can greatly help a person, and more than once. You can achieve the ability to look at the world ambiguously through training. One of them is this: always try to see the unfamiliar possibilities of familiar things. For example, how else can you use a cup?

Questions as a vehicle for change

There is no better way to change than the ability to ask more questions. Even if they are stupid. Especially if they are stupid. Then this will become a litmus test for the person and his character to whom they are addressed. And one question always becomes a stepping stone for the next.

When a person has a question, he should not brush it aside. In life, many things are interconnected and do not just happen. There is no way to find out the answer right away - you can do it later. If you write down a question somewhere, even as a message on your phone, it won’t go away. And you can search for an answer at a convenient time in the way that is more convenient and accessible: the Internet, an encyclopedia, an authoritative source. You can learn a lot of unexpected things by responding to such sudden questions.

Questions as training for the mind

The best training for the mind will be searching for answers to the unusual riddles of another person. This helps train the ability to think quickly and outside the box. Any emergency situation will be less frightening for such a trained consciousness. Therefore, it is advisable not only to endlessly question yourself, but to become a provocateur, challenging others to create questions.

A very useful property for developing your world is attention to another point of view on what is being said. People have different views, which allows diversity to be born.

It's worth appreciating when another person asks a "stupid" question. The best option for your own development and reputation would be to give as detailed an answer as possible. It is always easier to call a person a bore or crazy than to carry on a conversation. But harsh categoricalness and labels will alienate people and reduce their social circle.

When a person learns to enjoy a discovery, even the simplest one, it feeds his brain and becomes a positive reinforcement. Then new questions arise and help the study of life. "How it works? Who invented it and when? And for what? Why does it have this name? How else can it be used? and so on.

There is no need to be afraid of making mistakes or being judged. Chinese wisdom says that one opinion about the stupidity of the questioner is nothing compared to the ignorance of the one who remains silent.

And modern life changes almost instantly. Reasonable doubt in everything, even well-known ones, is the best way to maintain ideas about the world in an effective state. Albert Einstein urged us to never lose our spark of curiosity.

You can banish boredom and monotony from life by acquiring the habit of exploration. This will develop the ability to be attentive and creative, will help not to miss anything important, not to miss the most important information, and to highlight the grain of truth in an avalanche of news. The ability to improve yourself and learn something new will help you quickly find a way out of difficult situations and successfully solve problems, both your own and those of others. Including hopeless ones for everyone else.

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