Can a man forgive? Psychologists with thick stacks of tests answer positively, folk wisdom says the opposite. But there are also romantics, according to whom a man filled with love is ready to endure any tests offered by an inventive lady of his heart. How are things really going? Is there something that men never forgive women, or is it possible to test the patience of the stronger sex endlessly with a certain approach?

Why is it harder for men to forgive?

The answer lies in the paradoxical structure of male memory. The man evaluates all the misdeeds of those around him according to his internal scale of acceptability and enters them into an imaginary diary, while pretending that nothing terrible happened. When those around him are almost sure that he has reconciled or forgiven, the space for notes suddenly runs out and the man puts an end to the relationship. At such a moment, it may seem that some mere trifle, like an inappropriately spoken word or a sidelong glance, led to the breakup - but who can know for sure how many records of misconduct have already been made before this?

How a man reacts to insult

1. He forgives the culprit, draws certain conclusions and forgets about the offense - provided that it is not repeated. This is only possible if the troublemaker sincerely repents and asks for forgiveness.
2. He doesn't forgive, but under the pressure of circumstances puts a good face on a bad game. This option is the most difficult: for fear of losing family, children, work or the respect of others, resentment is hidden deep inside for a certain time - and the longer negative feelings are suppressed, the more negative energy accumulates.
3. It's as if he forgives but I don’t intend to continue the relationship. Such forgiveness without forgiveness is generally not typical for men, since it represents a pronounced cognitive dissonance: if the culprit is forgiven, why break up?
4. He can't forgive and leaves for this reason. This happens when that very last point is reached, but the victim will remember for a long time the unavenged insult and the unspoken last word.

Fortunately, for women in relationships, there are not many critical mistakes that lead to an immediate breakup. For example, a man in love, even if he expresses dissatisfaction, is not too offended by:

• minor shortcomings such as lack of culinary talent and passion for order, peculiar taste in clothing or manner of communication;
• excessive communication of the lady with her friends, their awareness of some intimate details of life together;
• a woman’s passion for communication, constant conversations on the phone or correspondence;
• shopping and spontaneous purchases - provided that they do not cause irreparable damage to the family budget.

Test of strength

Everything would be fine if it weren’t for the subconscious desire characteristic of the weaker sex to constantly test feelings for strength, look for the boundaries of what is permissible and test a man’s patience. Science considers this a kind of test of dominance: a woman is well aware of what provokes her partner’s dissatisfaction, but in this simple way she checks whether the chosen one has lost the status of a leader, whether he has lost interest in her, whether it’s time to look for a replacement for him?
The danger lies in the fact that each man has his own, individual boundary. A woman, having become a little accustomed to relationships with the stronger sex, can draw erroneous conclusions and assume that she already knows, which men do not forgive, that all partners have equal strength and are ready to endure approximately the same psychological pressure. Therefore, at some point, the boundary of what is permissible is crossed easily and imperceptibly, and the reaction that follows does not bring pleasure to anyone.

16 main women's mistakes

So, men are ready to close their eyes to many things. However, will forgiveness follow this, or will they shake off the dust from the imaginary diary and make another entry in it, thereby bringing the natural end closer? Below we list the main women's mistakes and blunders, for which the chances of remaining unforgiven are very high.

1. Public criticism

The thing is extremely fragile. Public criticism, ridicule or discussion of shortcomings in front of strangers deal a significant blow to him, especially when it comes to masculinity or intellectual abilities. Men react no less painfully when a woman openly takes the opposite side in an argument or conflict with others. For the stronger sex, which is in eternal confrontation with the outside world, this is akin to betrayal, which men forget, but do not forgive.

2. Reproaches and accusations of insolvency

Daily utterance of complaints, constant dissatisfaction or accusations of incompetence do not have an immediate effect, but they destroy the foundation of the relationship stone by stone. Unfortunately, women regularly try to educate their partner to change his actions and correct his behavior. In such an environment, representatives of the stronger sex lose self-confidence, become passive and give up any ambitions. It is logical that the sincerity of the feelings of a woman who allows herself such behavior is also called into question: men run away from such relationships at the first opportunity.

Any man, deep down in his soul, wants to believe that he is the best sexual partner in the world, and a woman chose him for this reason. However, this faith is even more fragile than a man’s pride - a carelessly spoken word or deliberate criticism of his masculine strength not only instantly and completely repels a man, but can also lead to serious dysfunction of a psychological nature. Humiliation of male dignity is something that a man will never forgive a woman, since the blow turns out to be so deep and painful that it is useless to even ask for leniency.

4. Denial of intimacy

There are thousands of reasons why women refuse their partners: upbringing, differences in temperaments, blackmail and even banal everyday fatigue play a role here. In addition, a woman sometimes declares her attitude towards intimacy as a marital duty, for the fulfillment of which it is absolutely not necessary to feel any desire. However, the conclusions are always clear: the man is convinced that he is not able to give a woman pleasure, that he no longer suits her as a lover. Unfortunately for relationships, replacements are sometimes found very quickly.

5. Comparison with others

Unfavorable comparisons with other people are much more difficult for men than for women, especially when it comes to ex-partners. A man subconsciously wants to be for his lady not only the only one, but also the smartest, the strongest and the most successful. Of course, he understands that he is very far from ideal, but he prefers not to hear about it, especially from the lips of the woman he loves. If the intimate side of the relationship is compared, the reaction intensifies many times over, and the consequences become unpredictable.

6. Commercialism

Despite the universal cult of money and wealth, the stronger sex is extremely cautious about any manifestations of a woman’s material interest in a relationship - these are things that men cannot turn a blind eye to. If a woman shows that her interest is caused by the wealth of the applicant, the presence of the attributes of a wealthy person, that her priority is to receive various types of benefits, then not only love, but also any sympathy on the part of the man will immediately disappear. In addition, a man who has consciously “bought” a woman’s company will have a corresponding attitude towards the “purchase”.

7. Jealousy and suspicion

Uncontrollable and unreasonable is a good way to create constant tension in the family. Men generally do not like baseless accusations and attacks on personal freedom. If they are also supported by round-the-clock monitoring, secret checking of the computer, examination of the phone, the contents of pockets and second-by-second checks of the daily schedule with control interrogations, the end of such a relationship is near. Some ladies, playing scouts, even engage in deliberate provocations, create fake accounts on social networks and persuade their friends to give a man a “test of fidelity.”

8. Manipulation and pressure

According to the point of view imposed by modern media resources, a woman is intellectually and spiritually a more highly developed being than a man. Some ladies perceive this as a guide to action and try to control their partner with the help of primitive manipulations - they develop a guilt complex in him, put him in front of difficult choices, force him to apologize in any situation, and feel inferior as the source of all troubles and misfortunes. Wanting to solely own a man, a woman can force him to give up hobbies, interests, hobbies and even friendships with old comrades.

9. Insulting his relatives

Men like to identify themselves with different social groups. They perceive their relatives in much the same way - as a single family, identifying themselves as its member. Therefore, any attacks and ridicule against a second cousin by a man will be perceived by the man as a personal insult. Of course, relatives are not chosen, and sometimes quite tense situations can arise between them, about which the man speaks unflatteringly. However, if he himself, for example, considers criticism of his own parents acceptable, then he never grants such a right to a woman.

10. Neglect of children

It just so happens that in our society it is mainly women who raise children. However, despite the supposedly indifferent attitude of fathers towards their own descendants, a man invariably recognizes himself as the head and protector of the family, trusting a woman with the most valuable thing he has. In any truly dangerous situation, he will rush to save the child without hesitation - but can a man forgive a woman if she herself becomes the source of this danger? There are often situations when a baby suffers due to the inattention, irresponsibility or lack of foresight of the mother - what man can calmly look at this?

11. Stupidity and narrow-mindedness

The myth that men prefer stupid women has long been debunked. The average confident representative of the stronger sex will prefer a wise and far-sighted life partner. They don’t like stupid and narrow-minded people, although they do not hesitate to use them - as long as they have enough patience to endure the inappropriate actions of a narrow-minded person. Everything becomes much worse if a man who has lost his vigilance finds himself connected to such a lady with a family, children and a mortgage - feeling cheated, he sometimes begins to take revenge, causing trouble for himself and those around him.

12. Lack of ability to forgive

A man prefers to believe that a woman is completely devoted to him and is ready to forgive any mistakes or failures. However, as we know, women do not forget insults - therefore, regularly reminding a man about his moments of weakness at every opportunity is used as an argument for discussion. A man disoriented by such behavior, confident that he has long been forgiven, does not understand what is happening and soon begins to see in the woman not a partner, but an adversary.

13. Neglect and superiority

A normal man will always strive to become the head of the family, regardless of his career success and social status. By questioning his authority, neglecting his opinion, a woman makes a man doubt his merits and abilities. The situation worsens if a woman's attempt to take a dominant role is ostentatiously justified by her higher salary, successful career growth, or physical indicators. Only a few, insecure individuals are able to calmly perceive a constant reminder of female superiority.

14. Betrayal

Betrayal should not be equated with treason, although it often accompanies it. By accidentally or deliberately discussing family secrets with strangers (with the same lover, for example), ridiculing a man’s dreams, hopes or hobbies in conversations with other people, a woman thereby shows that she does not value the trust placed in her or the relationship in general. There is no doubt whether men forgive a woman’s betrayal: any of them instantly moves away, withdraws into himself or simply leaves, since without trusting communication and mutual understanding, further coexistence makes no sense.

15. Lies and duplicity

A lie also entails a loss of trust, regardless of its scale: a man naturally assumes that by regularly deceiving him in small things, a woman is also capable of a big lie associated with infidelity or betrayal. The representative of the stronger sex is also wary of dual behavior: having discovered that a lady is telling him one thing to his face and something completely different behind his back, a man will not even try to establish close relationships, since these involve a confidential exchange of thoughts, dreams and experiences.

16. Treason

It would be hard to find a more controversial and relationship-damaging mistake. On the one hand, studies by British scientists have shown that 92% of respondents are ready to forgive infidelity, and on the other hand, we are talking about European men with suppressed self-identification and an artificially reduced level of masculinity. Domestic representatives of the stronger sex react to betrayal much more strongly.

It should be noted that the concept of betrayal is individual for everyone. For some it is enough, and others are ready to forgive “accidental” physical betrayal, but do not accept mental betrayal. In any case, a man’s desire to be the best and the only one in the eyes of his companion suddenly collides with the realization that the woman has found someone better. Realizing that the existing relationship has absolutely no meaning for her, the wounded representative of the stronger sex, even if he is able to come to terms with this fact under the pressure of circumstances, will never return to his former openness and trust.

Love forgives everything

The stereotype about the endless generosity and patience of a man in love is quite dangerous, since a woman convinced of its truth may think that she is allowed everything in a relationship. Undoubtedly, in the initial stages a man is ready to endure any test, but who can say that a few years later in a similar situation he will not take out his diary and re-read the entries made long ago?
On the other hand, the situation is not at all so fatal: normal men tend to forgive in response to a sincere and conscious request, and the list of truly deadly sins is not so long. It is enough to avoid what men never forgive women - and two lovers can always cope with the rest.

We have compiled a list of things that you should never do in order to preserve a man's pride. By the way, this is important not only for the harmonious course of your relationship, but also for the success of your loved one in his career and in other matters. After all, knowledge of male psychology will allow you to help your loved one believe in his own strength and become a real support for your family.

5 things that hurt a man's ego

1) You laugh at him in front of your friends.

You should never—absolutely never—do this. Even if it seems to you that your loved one is endowed with an excellent sense of humor. He will perceive any jokes made at him, no matter whether they are successful or not, as an admission of his own inadequacy. Especially if you say them out loud in the company of friends. Especially if they relate to sex, his appearance, work, earnings, achievements in sports and relatives. Keep the jokes to yourself; in extreme cases, you can laugh with your mother or friends. When your boyfriend is not with you, of course.

2) You are trying to be the head of the family.

Even if you earn 2 times more than him, this is not a reason to boss him around at home. Try to be gentler and let him take matters into his own hands. This way, you will not only be able to relax and unwind at home, but you will also take the right step in your relationship: the man will feel like the head of the family, and will become more responsible and active.

3) You force him to go to the doctor.

This is the psychology of men, for the most part they hate going to the doctor (especially when it comes to sexual health), and if they start hinting at the need for an examination, they perceive it as a blow to their pride. Make a knight's move - if you think your man needs to visit a doctor, make an appointment on the same day and tell him about a health day for the two of you. Or ask your mother-in-law to convince your son that he needs to be examined.

4) You whine a lot.

If you envy your girlfriends and often tell your boyfriend that Masha was in the Maldives again, and you haven’t gone to the sea for the third year in a row, try to find a more constructive method of expressing your desires. This approach and whining about how bad your life is, belittles a man and makes him apathetic. After all, he feels guilty that he cannot give you everything you want! Better inspire him to change jobs or get a promotion with the help of tenderness, attention and love.

5) You often refuse sex.

An intimate topic is one of the most important for any man. Let him feel that you appreciate him and enjoy sex! And if this is not so, then why are you dating at all?

What to do if you hurt a man's pride

It doesn’t matter whether it happened by accident or in the heat of a quarrel, when you wanted to hurt your partner. Now it is important to smooth out the conflict and restore his faith in himself. First, apologize for what you said. Secondly, compliment your loved one more often, placing a gentle emphasis on what offended you last time. Thirdly, try to please your husband or boyfriend more often, for example, with a massage, breakfast in bed and other pleasant things. Soon you will see that in return he also tries to please you - both emotionally and materially. The payoff won't keep you waiting!