Revenge ... How sweet this word sometimes seems to people. It paints in their imagination pictures of retribution, tears of the offender and his remorse. And then, not allowing them to enjoy deceptive justice, he makes them act. Makes you take revenge. But many take revenge. People who have been betrayed, offended, hurt. They want to let the offender feel the pain that they themselves experienced through his fault. They want justice, not realizing that they are only making things worse for themselves, poisoning life with their own hands.
Feeling of revenge- this is a destructive force that carries a negative, destructive energy. And this energy is directed not at all at the person to whom they wish evil, but at the one who wishes. After all revenge- this is satisfaction in the presentation of retribution, the wish of evil, grief and misfortune to another person. All our thoughts are mirrored, attracting what we think about. We wish someone sincerely good, then good will come into our life, and if we wish evil, then evil. At the same time, the negative has more energy than the positive, so it returns to us with a vengeance.
This is if we talk only about thoughts, but, unfortunately, sometimes the pain and indignation in the souls of people are so great that they bring their plans to life. Actions carry even more destructive power, and the law of retribution works on an accelerated principle. People succumbing revenge soon become even more miserable than they were. From somewhere they fall on the head of an incurable ,bankruptcy, accidents and other misfortunes. And no one wonders why this happens in their lives! Sees no connection with recent revenge and today's suffering.
The results of a study by American scientists showed that 90% of those who had a severe form of tuberculosis experienced a strong revenge, completely occupying all their thoughts and owning consciousness. People who had thoughts of revenge only periodically suffered from abscesses (pustules), which caused a lot of pain and anxiety. Also, vengeful people are more prone to the occurrence of tumors, since neoplasms arise as a result of deep resentment, and if a person thinks about revenge, then there is no question of forgiveness.
But it only raises us above ourselves, gives peace in the soul and harmony in life. Who are we to judge another person? According to the law of retribution known to us, the offender will also be rewarded in life. But not thanks to our efforts! All the will of God. We can only accept the situation, forgive the person and wish him happiness. And as soon as the thought of revenge creeps into our minds, we need to remember the well-known saying: “If you want revenge, dig two graves: one for the one you kill, the other for yourself.”
In moments of resentment and pain, your heart ached with hatred, and your thoughts frantically searched for an opportunity to inflict the same blow on the enemy. But then the cold mind instantly said “stop”, but wouldn’t it be better to do it beautifully and inventively. Admit to yourself that at least once you thought, how to get revenge on an offender and searched smart ways to get revenge. The reasons for this were different, and they are as individual as everyone living on earth.
Why do you want revenge?
Each of us has our own answer to this question. And, most interestingly, it will never be the same and will not be repeated. However, there is a clear definition. This is an objective retaliation for the delivered discomfort and torment.
In some nations, revenge is considered a noble occupation. But there are still people on Earth who piously hope that blockheads who are alien to moral canons are engaged in revenge. How correct is this, whose side should be taken in this matter?
How they took revenge in ancient times
Most likely, you must decide for yourself what this concept means to you.
Remember the actions of our ancestors. Almost all family members participated in this confrontation. Even close friends and acquaintances were involved. Revenge entailed a new cause for resentment and disappointment. The circle closed, and it was very difficult to get out of it. So what to do. Is it necessary to forget blood enmity?
How to take revenge on the person who offended you
There are almost as many opinions on this as there are living people. In our age of advanced information technology, we certainly do not act like our relatives in the distant past. But the same time, in turn, dictates new perspectives for a more elegant and thoughtful revenge.
No matter what stratum of society you belong to, not everyone will decide to discuss their feelings with others. Deep enough in your soul is this bitter disappointment. However, just like the malice in the heart of your opponent.
The motives that are most often the root cause of revenge:
- cunning attitude,
- Envy,
- Infidelity,
- Betrayal,
- Humiliation,
- Insult and so on.
As you can see, these reasons are not always really worthy. In some cases, your act may be low. But how to get out of the situation if you really got hurt?
But in this case, it may happen that it will not keep you waiting for a retaliatory strike from your enemy.
| Advice | Action |
| Stop the agility | If you have been hurt morally, then it is very difficult to understand how great it is. It is unlikely that you will be able to deliver a similar blow. Just to do something nasty is beneath the dignity of any of us. A fair answer will be more effective. And it requires thought. |
| Be aware of the possible outcome | Carried away by thinking about how to take revenge on the offender and find smart ways to get revenge, you can do the irreparable. Crossing the line of what is permitted, you will perform criminally punishable actions. Guess who gets worse from this. |
| Don't involve others | If anything goes wrong, they may witness your fiasco. |
| Cold calculation | The famous catchphrase is not in vain invented by the people. Let the feelings cool down a bit. Then you will be able to properly analyze the situation and find the most suitable way out of it. |
Real Ways of Revenge
Time flows, and hurtful annoyance and bitter disappointment still rage in your heart. You want to land a punch that will be remembered for years to come. Then you need to carefully consider all your further actions. You do not want them to look ridiculous, so do not do anything spontaneously, on a wave of emotions.
True revenge must be thoughtful. Examine the object that hurt you, identify its weak point. It is in this area that harm should be planned. Let the victim know that you have forgotten about her, the more unexpected the blow will be for the person who has lost his vigilance.
Resentment against a loved one
Most often, hatred, like a fury, overcomes us when a lover betrays us. It is very disappointing to experience betrayal from the once dear and only. It seems that all the good things between you got dirty in the dirt, and this makes it even more painful. You are increasingly thinking about how to punish the person who offended you without harming yourself.
When pain comes
- Change has invaded your life
- You have been insulted
- How can you punish the offender for humiliation
Naturally, you will immediately want to break off all relations with him, having previously arranged a grandiose scandal. But wait, there is a more interesting way of retribution. You can just start a stormy romance with the head of the former. This type refers to women's tricks. If everything goes as planned, then you can completely ruin his career at work, getting him fired and everyone negatively treated. This is not to say that this is an elegant way, but in many women's novels it is vigorously discussed.
Are there more beautiful options for revenge. Still, do not forget that you need to get out of any situation so as not to lose your “face”. Try to do better things for yourself. If a person cheated on you, is it worth fighting for such a person? It is clear that you yourself must decide whether to continue with him. And, if the feelings are really strong, then after the removal of pain and resentment comes remorse for what you have done. Internal torment and self-destruction of the offender will allow you to understand that your goal has been achieved.
Of all the representatives of the living world living on earth, man is perhaps the most unfortunate. He has such feelings as analyzing and working out perfect deeds. In other words, if we cause suffering to someone, then the integrity of our soul is destroyed.
We lose such people, and others understand that we should not have anything to do with. Wouldn't this be the worst revenge ever? Perhaps, it is absolutely not necessary to commit some bad deeds, the purpose of which is revenge on the once beloved for his betrayal. If he is not a completely lost man, then he will soon realize what he did. And constant thoughts about his misconduct will deprive him of peace of mind and balance.
Hatred for strangers
It may happen that a passer-by on the street, a neighbor on the landing or a colleague will get rude to you. It's a completely different twist. They may not even understand what they have done. In an hour, they will forget about the bad deed, and you will be under an oppressive negative mood for a long time to come. Are you familiar with this situation?
The rude impulse of a stranger is worthless and inappropriate, and your once sunny day now seems dull and dreary. But, if this person is unfamiliar to you, is it worth taking his words so closely?
Of course, it is unpleasant if a colleague is not correct enough and allows himself statements that hurt you painfully. If you nevertheless decide on reciprocal methods, will they not be harmful to you?
What can not be done headlong
Try not to lower yourself to his level. No need to run with a complaint to the boss or discuss misbehavior with other employees.
- Just watch your enemy for a while.
- Look at how he behaves, what he does. Then it will be possible to understand how to take revenge on the offender, smart ways of revenge exist.
- Pay attention to whether your enemy "hangs" in the smoking room for too long. Maybe he is new, and so he is trying to win the respect of others.
- Monitoring all the actions of a colleague will encourage you to carefully study his work, find all the weak points and see the shortcomings.
Perhaps your proposals will turn out to be more successful, the manager will pay attention to them and offer to take a higher position with an appropriate monetary reward. Getting around the loser in this way, isn't that your true goal. But how beautifully you will do it, remaining a person in such a difficult environment.
virtual vendetta
You are annoyed in reality, this is understandable. You can guess what prerequisites spurred on delivering trouble in this form. The true picture of what is happening is visible to the naked eye. The situation is more complicated in the virtual space. The so-called "trolls" are operating there.
How to counter virtual trolls
Their main goal is to provoke scandalous communication on forums and social networks. Their caustic remarks concern mistakes, external data or education. Stretching the conflict that has arisen over several pages and attracting as many users as possible into it is what they are trying to achieve.
In this situation, it is also better for you to reason logically. Just understand that this is actually their job, in fact, they may not care about you at all. Compare such people to the waitress who didn't answer you politely, or to the security guard who didn't let you into a nightclub. These facts are, of course, unpleasant for you, but not fatal. If the trolls nevertheless caused a flurry of negative excitement in you, then it means that they coped with their duties.
What to do if you were insulted in VKontakte or Odnoklassniki groups
Try to collect your emotions in a fist and react positively to such statements. If the opponent fails to arouse anger in you, then his actions will become meaningless, the negative energy sent will not be able to achieve its goal. Reply with humor and irony. You will see, the interlocutor will be taken aback, and will not know what to object to you.
How to take revenge on the offender with the help of magic the easy way
Magic offers the most unusual methods of satisfying your vengeful desires. Witches and sorcerers, whose ads are full of newspapers and Internet pages, offer you endless opportunities to get moral satisfaction from revenge. This is a slander, evil eye, damage, retribution to the offender.
Magic methods of retribution
Many believe that this is not a deception, and the curses sent will overtake the person. But is it worth taking on such a grave sin?
Magic rituals will help us:
- Deprive a person of promising work.
- Bring discord into family relationships.
- Affect health for the worse.
- Contribute to the appearance of money problems.
But do not forget that it is very dangerous to carry out these actions. And for you as well. Therefore, turn to the help of sorcerers only when there really is no other way out, you have been beaten, seriously framed, or deprived of the most expensive.
We present to your attention examples of the impact on the human psyche with the help of spells and witchcraft rites.
Conspiracies for offenders
| Name | How to exercise |
| Doll use |
Seeing his exact copy, he will think about the inconvenience caused to you. His subconscious will tense up like a stretched string, and you will be able to breathe calmly, your goal has been achieved. If you want the punishment to come in the form of a weakening of health, then the actions with the doll must be done independently. Inflict certain injuries on her, you will see that the well-being of the punished will also gradually worsen. |
| Whispers on the water | Your throwing in search of how to take revenge on the offender smart ways of revenge do not arise immediately. Resentment accumulates for days, and even years. We are trying to direct some of the negativity at our enemy so that he feels at least a drop of what we experience ourselves. To do this, remember the right words. They need to be pronounced over a bowl of water, which you put on the bible near the mirror |
Spell from evil
Protection Ritual:
Further actions depend on the purpose for which you perform this sacrament:
In any case, you will receive excellent armor against any hostile enemies and protection from possible troubles. |
Read the following spell
How to punish the offender with a conspiracy at a distance at home
Hex on a handkerchief is a powerful magical way to punish the offender.
What do we have to do:
- To carry out magical deeds, you need to take a handkerchief that has not yet been in use.
- The only point that you must take into account is that the words of the prayer are always read before you go to some place where you may wish evil.
- Beforehand, each time it must be washed so that damage does not inadvertently overtake you.
When you are about to leave, looking at the handkerchief, you need to say the spoken words.
Then wipe your face with it three times counterclockwise and put it in your pocket. You can confidently go about your business, bad words and thoughts will not be able to harm you.
The search for means, how to take revenge on the offender, clever ways of revenge, were not successful. Do not despair. There is another way that will help you get rid of its negative influence.
After conducting such a ritual, you will put an invisible wall between you, which will repel the enemy, and his evil thoughts will be directed against him. If you decide to take such actions, then the day before, try to stop feeling hostility towards the enemy, think only about light and pure. If you do not get rid of bouts of anger, then in a moment of strong concentration, your thoughts will return all the negativity back to you.
| A conspiracy to ensure that the enemy leaves you alone | Wait for the moon to enter its 22nd or 30th cycle. This is the best time to perform the ordinances. The rite should be supplemented with the following attributes:
How to perform a ritual
Looking at the flame of the second candle, you say the cherished words, exactly as many times as you need to feel relieved. |
When you realize that there is no more room for hatred in your heart, turn your attention to the third candle and say the following over it:
People who wish misfortune on us do not always carry out their plans through material activities. They can simply respond badly, envy our successes, or simply feel hostility. There is no need to think that this is all empty, and words cannot affect us in any way.
In fact, waves of negative energy can ruin our careers, ruin us, quarrel with relatives and friends.
If we know that someone is harming us, and consciously, then, naturally, there may be a desire to protect ourselves, and not only ourselves, but our home as a whole. And this does not mean that we will wish for death.
We just want a bad person to get what he deserves, so that all the misfortunes that he predicts for others fall upon him. Examples of how to take revenge on the offender - smart ways of revenge do exist. But for this you need to put together all your positive and choose the most sophisticated method. Just be human in every situation.
You will be interested.
Probably, it is not necessary to comment much that there are vengeful people who will not miss the opportunity to answer the offender, to take revenge, so to speak.
Some say that revenge is the lot of the stupid and narrow-minded, and you should not pay attention to them. Others argue that the vengeful are the most dangerous adversaries.
Who says that it is easier to make friends with the vengeful.
How to deal with vindictive people? Are they afraid?
Or, really, these people are not quite healthy and should be treated with understanding?
Your opinion.
The question is very interesting. I don't think you should be afraid of revenge. Because if you are a kind person and do no harm to anyone, then this revenge will not cause you anything bad, but will return like a boomerang to the one who wishes you harm. It seems to me that revenge makes worse the person who takes revenge, and not the one who is being avenged. Because this evil eats him - he thinks about how to take revenge, he has no peace in his soul.
Well, ideally, in order for you not to take revenge, you do not need to do what it is, for which they can take revenge. And if some kind of conflict has already turned out, then you need to try to resolve it without reaching a sense of revenge.
Comments
Everything would be fine, but revenge reflects badly on the mood of people. Not everyone can resist her. This is what the one who takes revenge counts on.
How to behave if you are being retaliated?
Here, it seems to me, it all depends on the specific circumstances and the cause of revenge.
If the reason is not serious, and revenge is petty and aims only to spoil your mood and ruin your career, try not to pay attention or have a serious talk with the "avenger" - perhaps the cause of revenge is a misunderstanding or something else that can be discussed and corrected.
Well, if the reason for revenge is serious and the actions of the avenger threaten your or someone else's safety, poison your life, force you to change your established lifestyle, then don't wait until you have a heart attack or a brick falls on your head - go to law enforcement agencies with a statement about the threat to your life and health...
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Comments
"Seriously talk to the avenger?" - sometimes this is not possible, because some people give themselves rights and powers, and it does not reach them that they are acting ugly.
I think such "pests" later pay in cash. Just when they don't expect it at all.
Correctly written here - evil always returns.
How to behave if you are being retaliated?
When one person takes revenge on another, then there is a reason. And it is worth thinking about this to the person who is being avenged. What did he do so badly, for which such a reaction subsequently went. First, you need to change something in yourself so that in the future, there will not be too many avengers.
Secondly, these people are simply not worth paying attention to. Those who take revenge, first of all, want to bring a person to emotions, make him suffer and experience, as the avenger experienced and suffered.
You need to learn to treat everything calmly, with a certain amount of a joke, in the form of entertainment (once again laugh and be positive), ignore it. True, this may take some time, but the result will not be long in coming.
You can somehow talk with the offender, clarify the situation and dot the “and”, in some cases you can even ask for forgiveness and part in an amicable way. I would not continue to communicate with such people, once he began to take revenge, reconciled, he can also beat more painfully the second time (having already studied his weak points).
The mood is spoiled by the fact that a person spoils it for himself, by the fact that he violently reacts to revenge. Until we stop taking everything that surrounds us with all seriousness and a storm of emotions, we will continue to be provocative and self-suggest to ourselves that revenge is a terrible thing.
The main thing is to calmly and adequately treat what is happening.
But revenge, of course, is different, it can also come to murder. In this case, before doing something, you must first think so as not to cause a reaction of revenge on the part of the offender. This is where the police can save you.
Unreasonable revenge cannot be a priori.
Ignore, calm perception of what is happening and everything will be fine. And best of all, remove this person from your "contacts" list. Good luck!
Comments
I have always been interested in people who at first will make a mess, and later they offer to dot the "i" and forget past grievances.
There are no other laws in the energy field. Energy cannot disappear, it just goes into another energy. So it is in relationships.
As they say, "as it comes around, so ... it will yaknet (respond)".
I really agree that it makes no sense to communicate with vengeful people, because you can make mistakes once or twice, and when a person is dirty on an ongoing basis, then, no matter how they talk to him, sooner or later he will do it again :-) With a sweet smile on the face and with words of politeness. Nature is so vindictive
In almost every situation, both sides are to blame. One side began, the other did not ignore, but became like it. Then the situation becomes dire. Someone starts blaming someone. There is no smoke without fire
Revenge (I do not mean blood feud, dictated, by the way, by ignorant and wild laws) at the household level is a nasty property of mentality inherent in nasty petty natures. It is hard to imagine that a decent person who respects himself would stoop to mean and vile revenge. Why go far. We have characters on the site who specifically create several accounts for themselves in order to slowly spoil decent people ...
In order not to go into this controversy and not write an answer, I would rather turn to the Great Ones and their assessment of vindictiveness. From this it is already possible to draw conclusions about what kind of fruits are "vindictive" and what they are eaten with)). And here are the Great ones, I will break them so that the text does not merge ...
The topic is almost revealed, and again - thanks to the great and wise.
I wonder how they advise you to behave when dealing with vindictive people?
Some advise like this: Socrates, because of his constant disputes, often received an insult by an action, to which he treated with complete calmness: having once received a kick, he patiently took it down and said to the surprised witness: “If a donkey kicked me, would I sue him?
Some advise so
Socrates, because of his constant disputes, often received insult by an action to which he treated with complete calmness: having once received a kick, he patiently took it down and said to the surprised witness: “If a donkey kicked me, would I begin to sue him?” ??.
But it’s more productive, like this, this is typical of such people, a parable: The cat cornered the scorpion, which decided to defend itself to the end.
- Spare me! Spare me! You can catch a thousand other creatures and get more reward than a mouth full of shell fragments. If you let me go, I will tell you a secret.
The cat, curious as all cats are, bent down and the scorpion whispered something in her ear.
The scorpion was released and the cat returned to its owner.
As soon as the man took her in his arms, she seized the moment and, with all her newfound skill, launched her claws into the owner's hand. No scorpion could have done better.
The man put the cat in a bag and threw it far into the river.
You can take revenge!
The teleporting.net telephone dialer is what really helps to get revenge. Continuous dialing to mobile or home will make anyone go crazy).
Revenge is a dangerous thing.
People are different and the revenge emanating from them can be anything.
Therefore, it is worth being on the alert.
The best thing to do is to try not to bring things to such a state.
If possible, then immediately understand and solve all problems.
But sometimes it is impossible to do this, and then you will have to solve the problem in other ways.
There are enough levers of influence and it is up to you to decide how to behave in such a situation.
You can not react to revenge (if revenge is petty and dirty), or you can turn to the law (if revenge becomes dangerous).
As you understand, in this "fork" there are other ways to solve this issue.
Fair revenge can take place, for example, if it is revenge on a traitor.
Revenge out of envy, malice is not fair revenge. You need to stay away from such people, not depend on them in anything, but it is best to stop any relationship with them once and for all, even to the point that these people should not know your place of residence.
And when thoughts of revenge become obsessive, then this person should be urgently referred to a psychiatrist.
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How to behave if you are being retaliated?
I know that kind, smart, self-sufficient, spiritually rich, beautiful and healthy in soul and body (yes-yes!) people will never take revenge.
Therefore, for yourself it is worth making a psychological portrait of the one who takes revenge on you.
It is unlikely that a beautiful, educated, literate woman who is successful with the opposite sex, or who has a beautiful figure, knows how to dress stylishly, has no material problems, etc., will begin to take revenge.
It will not even enter her head, because there will be no time.
Here you need to smile, work here, help a child here, joke here, chat there, support your husband. When to take revenge?
And some "Baba Yaga" will do it with pleasure. What does Baba Yaga have? One tooth, and that one is rotten, a hump, a mustache and a full bag of anger.
No one loves or will love her. And so it goes on knurled))
Well, you can behave differently. You can say directly "you are Baba Yaga and no one loves you," or you can troll benevolently. For example, saying "how cute or smart or gifted you are (alternatively).
I, perhaps, for humor. Wasting energy on the vengeful is not the best thing to do. And then, they are just waiting for their "program" to work.
Drawing up a psychological portrait and humor!
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How to behave if you are being avenged, probably, the degree of closeness with a person is important here.
It's one thing if it's a family member. Here it is necessary to clarify relations with a person, to solve some problems.
It’s hard if this is a work colleague and takes revenge not for something specific, for the harm done to him, but simply if you are luckier, more competent, etc., that is, out of envy. In my experience, in this case it is impossible to appease a person, because it is impossible to eradicate the problem in him. Here, probably, ignoring the person as far as possible will help, and connecting the authorities to this problem, otherwise you can then find yourself in a very unfavorable light.
And so, perhaps it is best not to contact such people, not to maintain relationships, not to try to prove or change something.
It happens that you really offend someone, then the person takes revenge, ask for forgiveness - does not react. Here it is worth accepting as a fact, as I think, to come to terms with this decision, the will of another person. And defend yourself with a clear conscience. It happens, at least with me, that you begin to “forgive” such actions, as it were, saying to yourself: “well, yes, I offended, now he has the right to behave this way.” Here is a big mistake.
I believe that no matter what we are, and no matter what we have done, we have the right to forgiveness and do not deserve revenge. There shouldn't be revenge at all.
Make friends with those who avenge you... Are you serious? Can you really make friends in this case? I don’t believe it ... Is it possible to pretend to be a friend, then to take revenge in turn. And become like this character.
What to do? Finding out the relationship, as a rule, is a disastrous business. You can try, but once or twice. Did not work out? So it won't work.
Trying to remake an adult - well, you yourself understand ...
Those. it is unlikely that the situation could be corrected. What remains? Accept it and finish for yourself. Those. move away from this person, delete him from life. Ignore is the best way out.
Well, let him puff up there, try ... The main thing is that this does not hurt you internally. You're right? This is the main thing.
How to behave if you are being retaliated.
What did they do, dear, if you are afraid of revenge. So the offense that you caused to the avengers is great. It might be better to ask them for forgiveness. Like, I was unreasonable, please excuse me. So you are gnawed by the thought of answering for what you have done. The best way is to go to church and confess.
Any person in itself is not vindictive and can understand any situation. But if the thought of revenge does not leave him and he tries to take revenge, then it is you who are to blame for this and not the avenger. There are no such people who, due to stupidity, will waste their time on revenge. Each person is born for love and happiness. And if an outsider got into someone else's life with his snout, spoiled, ruined everything in it, then, of course, vindictiveness woke up. And even more so if his life has changed cardinally and there is no improvement, then this person, by the will of fate, becomes vindictive towards you. And whatever you do, you will have to answer according to the severity of the law of life. Sorry for both of you. Although if he forgives, God will never forgive. And in any case, the answer will overtake at the most inopportune moment, regardless of whether you have been forgiven or not. The answer will have to be before God.
The most reasonable answer to you is to ask for forgiveness from the one whom you have harmed. Ask for a long time and ask again, and confess in the church after forgiveness. Only your notion of evil itself will God forgive you.
It is said that revenge is pain returned. We are hurt, and in response, we hatch plans and hurt our offender. And we do not always commensurate the retaliatory blow with the inflicted insult. More often than not, we want to inflict even more pain than we ourselves experience.
Carrying revenge, we hope that, having avenged, our pain will subside, it will become easier for us, and life will again be joyful and full of hope for the best. But, deliberately hurting someone, we ourselves become cruel, evil, and in fact completely break off relations with the offender without the possibility of their restoration. And if our realized revenge exceeds the harm done to us, then the offender has the right to respond in kind. And this is a vicious circle in which the amount of pain and harm done to each other only grows.
Even if we, after thinking everything over and judging, refuse revenge, it happens that we still strive to cause inconvenience, grief to our offender, albeit unconsciously, albeit not on purpose. We take the opportunity, sometimes we act through someone. Only our resentment does not decrease, but accumulates, and peace does not come all the same.
It happens that someone joked about us, quite caustically, insultingly. We did not have time or failed to react immediately, but the scratch in the heart remained. It seems that we persuade ourselves that we should not be offended, this is just a bad joke, we can and should forgive. But suddenly our next joke about this joker turns out to be so caustic and sharp, now he is already speechless.
And all because we do not notice our feelings, do not allow ourselves to live and experience them. As a result, they accumulate and then find a way out for themselves. Moreover, we do not control this process, because we failed to notice in time that we were offended or hurt.
It happens in the relationship of two people who seem to love each other. Some little things, nevertheless, cutting the ear, leave scratches in the soul, but at first they are forgiven. And how else - this is a loved one! But over time, these scratches accumulate so much that they turn into one big wound. And then any trifle, out of place spoken word, an unsuccessful joke will cause a real explosion of pain, resentment, suffering.
What will be the retaliation, no one knows. In such a state, it is almost impossible to measure the power of revenge. But it doesn't get any easier! On the contrary, when the passions cool down, and you see what you have done, it will become scary, because with one directed blow you can destroy what has been built for years.
So no revenge? Don't answer pain with pain? Endure as long as you have the strength, destroying yourself from the inside? But this is not so easy to do, and, moreover, feeling constant humiliation from your own resignation, because you allow yourself to be offended, you lose self-respect, self-esteem - that is, you cease to be a person. These are the complexes that have appeared, and the self-esteem that has collapsed down, and the eternal aching, albeit in the depths of the soul, pain.
All this cannot but affect the relationship, and, first of all, the attitude of the partner. If we do not respect ourselves, where will the respect for us come from? If we allow ourselves to be mistreated, then why try to do us well? If we are ready to endure everything and swallow any offense, then the amount of what we still have to endure will increase every day.
Do not expect your loved one to one day say that he realized how unfair he was, how much grief he brought you. On the contrary, he will get used to such an attitude and will even be surprised if one day you rebel. After all, he does not think that he is doing something that offends you so much. It doesn’t occur to him that he hurts things that are important to you, because you endure and swallow insults.
How to break this circle? How to learn to take care of yourself and not hatch plans for revenge, in the hope that one day you will be able to make the offender understand how bad it was for you, will you be able to feel no less pain yourself?
Some say that you need to stop revenge, do not increase the amount of evil in this world. But, if it were so easy to do, after all, even a refusal to deliberate revenge, from a response to an offense caused, does not mean much, since you can simply break loose and unconsciously throw out everything that has accumulated in your soul. Even if you leave, breaking off all relationships, your pain and resentment will still remain with you.
In addition, in all respects there must be a balance. If it is not there, then the one who is weaker suffers under pressure. If one person gives all the time, and the other only uses and gives nothing in return, then the harmony is broken. If one of the partners is sure that what he gives is enough for the other, and the second suffers from the unrequitedness of his efforts and misunderstanding of a loved one, then sooner or later an explosion will happen.
Do not accumulate your grievances and suffering. Don't be selflessly patient and forgiving. At the very beginning of a relationship, when people are still in love with each other and ready for self-sacrifice, it is easier for them to understand the pain and resentment of a loved one and correct their behavior, correct their mistakes and be more attentive in the future.
Do not carry grudges in yourself, do not accumulate - express them out loud as soon as you feel. If a person loves you, then he will definitely understand your pain and go forward. And if this does not happen, then you need to think about what binds you, and whether it is worth continuing the relationship, devoid of harmony and balance, in which there is so much pain for you.
In addition, the pain caused to you must be returned, but at the address, openly, and try to make it less than the one you are experiencing. You can't hold on to the pain, you can't stand it. And, having restored the balance, you will feel relief from the restored justice.
Reducing pain, not making revenge the meaning of life, not developing plans for the complete moral destruction of the offender, you thereby reduce the amount of evil, and sooner or later, everything will subside, and you will be able to live on. Or maybe, having finished exchanging pain and resentment, you will realize that you still love each other, and will begin to exchange love already.
And yet, very often your offender deep down understands that he hurt you. But for various reasons, he cannot admit it openly, confess, correct his mistakes. By taking revenge, you thereby relieve him of guilt. He understands that he is punished and does not consider this punishment unfair. And then it all depends on you: what will overpower - resentment or love, friendship, respect ...